Rags to Riches to Raggier Rags

We weren't too sure if we were going to have the chance to blog at all in our trip through Africa after the sluggish speeds of the connection in Joberg, South Africa. Botswana had their crap together and the speed of the Intarwebs was actually pretty decent, but we ran out of time before the truck moved on and were unable to post this. So, now, three weeks after I originally wrote this and intended to post it, and five weeks after we actually were in Dubai, here's that portion of the blog, sans pictures, as a way of saying hello and letting you all know that we are, in fact, still breathing air. Much of it has even been refreshingly clean!

So, I think last time we posted something, we were on our way out of South East Asia and headed to Dubai where we were hoping to shower in gold and throw hundred dollar bills at each other. Unfortunately the showers were only water (lame!) and we only had 50 dollar bills to throw at each other. Still, we had a grand time seeing one of the most wasteful and ridiculously wealthy cities in the history of history. All the while you're marvelling at the tallest structure in the world (the Burj Dubai at 900 meters or so), the 7 star (we didn't know that was possible) hotel Burj Al Arab shaped like a dhow sail, or counting the billions of high-rise construction cranes, you're also thinking about all of the oil and power it's going to take to run this city filled with air-conditioned luxury and even the world's largest indoor ski slope. The sheik obviously knows his oil fields aren't going to last forever and is positioning his emirate to survive on business and tourism in the future, but this is a desert. Not even a desert like San Diego is a desert. Nothing grows in the lots where there aren't buildings.



Either way, the city was very nice, had some spectacular malls, and gave us an opportunity to get back to the kind of civilization that we're used to. We went to the movies, ate some fantastic Persian and Lebanese food, and shopped a little on top of that. We managed to make it to the neighboring emirate of Sharjah, which is booming as a Dubai bedroom community.

We also took a tour of modern development in Dubai. It showed off a lot of the newer malls and talked more extensively about the man made islands their putting up off the coast to create more beaches. We even got a chance to drive onto the first and smallest palm island (completed this September) that measures about 5km from top to bottom. The second palm will include a section called the Waterfront that will be about the size of Manhattan Island while the third and largest palm will eventually house 1.4 million residents (it won't be completed for 15-20 years since they're waiting on the technology to make the reclaimation smoother and more stable). For reference, Dubai only has 1.2 million people living in it right now.

The scale model of the first palm.

On top of that is The World which is made up of more than a few man-made islands that when taken together roughly make the shape of a map of the world. The only way you can grab one of these islands is to be invited. Ours must be in the pile of mail we have waiting for us at home. There's also another string of islands known as The Universe that's planned and will be shaped like various cosmic bodies (stars, planets, comets, etc.) and fit snugly underneath The World.

The planned Dubai coastline.

Outside of that, they're also building the world's largest airport, which is supposedly the size of two Heathrow and O'Hares combined. Then there's also Dubailand. Dubailand is an amusement complex that will be larger than all of the Disney themeparks in the world combined. 800 square kilometers of land. Something like 50 huge hotels, several differently themed areas (many based on popular world landmarks like Paris, London, Tokyo, New York... a little like Vegas has done it) along with water parks, roller coaster parks, zoos, marine wildlife parks and so on. So yeah, it's ridiculous.

After that we managed to make it to a tour of a mosque, which was pretty interesting as I had never visited one (Laura had). I volunteered to wash my hands, arms, face and legs before entering as a demonstration and then we were given a little lesson in Islam, which was also interesting. It's pretty clear that much of the Muslim community is trying to battle the negative images that have cropped up around the world. We certainly didn't feel any negativity towards us while in Dubai and felt quite a bit safer there than any of the other major cities we've been in to date. The people were very friendly and helpful and basically left us to our shopping without getting in our faces, which was a welcome relief after SE Asia.



Either way, we're hoping to make it back to Dubai in 10-20 years to see the slobbering ravenous money whore it's turned into. Maybe by then, we can finally have our gold shower.

So, it's now pretty clear that we're going to have to wait and put up our Africa trip in one mega-post or in installments after we've reached Cape Town (or possibly even Boston) but here's a quick round-up: After arriving in Joberg, we hung out for a couple of days, bought our camping stuff, and took a tour of one of the most seriously poor areas of the world that you could probably imagine in the Soweto township called Kliptown.

From there we went to Zimbabwe where Uncle Bob was in the process of stealing an election. We had a good time in Victoria Falls (the falls really are spectacular) and managed to take a sunset boat ride with our tour group and get drunk with them as an introduction then walk with lions and take a helicopter ride to get a better view of the falls. That night at our fancy dinner we were informed we had to flee Zimbabwe as it had shown up on the British travel warning list (our tour operator is British). So we fled to Botswana for Chobe NP. From there we hit Namibia's Caprivi Strip, went back to Botswana for the Okavango Delta and the Mkedephkedi pans where Laura unfortunately fell ill (but is now 100%!), then moved into South Africa for a detour around Zimbabwe and into Kruger NP, drove down into Swaziland to Mliliwane NP, and up into Mozambique for some beautiful beach time in Vilanculos and Morungulo. All of the spellings of those locations could also be either slightly wrong or completely wrong.

We're now sitting in an Intarwebs cafe above a pizza shop in Maputo, the dodgy capital of Mozambique. We'll be leaving to head into South Africa to check out the battlefields where the Zulu and British knocked heads as we head into the last leg of our journey abroad. We'll hit Lesotho and then the South African garden route on our way to Cape Town in less than two weeks.

We're both having an incredible time on our trip but are both definitely looking forward to seeing friends and family very soon.

Anyway, time's running out for this so I better finish so that I can actually post. We'll have pictures of all of this stuff when we have more time and a rousing tale of meeting a monkey with beautifully bright blue testicles.

Much love to all!
Dan & Laura

The End of the Beginning

We've been celebrating our successful conquering of Southeast Asia by sitting on the beach drinking fruity drinks and beer. Take that, Southeast Asia! No, not that creative, but sometimes we like to stick to what we do best. Consequently, you guys are probably going to feel pretty lucky to know that this should be a shorter blog (plus some addendums to the Apoocalypse Now post, all of which we must embarassingly thank our families for -- see, we both got it from somewhere). Our laziness has reached an all time high after spending time in southern Thailand, though it helps that we only had to float down the river of our own sweat rather than walk anytime we wanted to go somewhere. Sadly, that also meant that we found it too hot to operate the camera without suddenly needing to find some air conditioning or go swimming so we mostly left it at home. Sadly, this means our laziness has created a smaller selection of pictures for you to peruse. But that doesn't mean they aren't pretty! Find them all, as usual, at our Flickr page.

On Phi Phi Don

Last time we wrote, we were just about to head out of Cambodia and back into Thailand for our last stop on the trip. I was having trouble remembering to zip my pants and Laura was scratching herself bloody from all of the mosquito bites. We left the land of a thousand temples and flew ourselves down to Phuket (pronouced Poo-get for those wondering, and no, we are not making that up) and made our way down the island to our hotel near Kata beach.

The hotel in Kata was actually very nice and located very near the beach. Unfortunately for us, the shortcut to the beach ran alongside an outdoor sewer (now known as a poonal) that made the walk considerably less enjoyable. In fact, it made much of the area less enjoyable since the unfortunate stink gently wafted into and around most of the area. We’re not positive since we didn’t follow it to the end, but it looked like it eventually made its way to the ocean as well which, as you might expect, made us much less enthusiastic about swimming.

Our stay in Kata was short in any case as we had planned to take a three day trip to the Similan Islands (two nights camping on the beach) but found out after our two hour van ride to the pier that the trip had been cancelled due to weather. So, in a quick decision, we decided to catch a ride back down to Kata while we decided what to do and made the decision on the way to grab a ferry to Railay Beach for a couple of days, then head to Phi Phi for a few days, and then maybe try the Similan trip again later. However, when we got the ferry after going ahead and reserving a hotel in Railay, we found out that we would miss the connecting ferry from Phi Phi to Railay by mere minutes and suddenly had to book a hotel in Phi Phi. It was just one of those days, nothing seemed to go right and we spent about 8 hours in various vehicles and boats before making it to our final destination. Our last minute hotel turned out nice enough so we stayed an extra day in Phi Phi for some beach relaxation before heading to Railay for some much needed beach relaxation. After a couple days of swimming, reading, and kayaking, we then headed back to Phi Phi for severely needed beach relaxation.

Phra Nang Beach, Railay

We really only managed to stir from our beachy stupor long enough to do one organized speedboat trip around Phi Phi Leh and Don, which is apparently the same trip that everyone stirs from their beachy stupors for as well. The first stop was “The Beach” on Phi Phi Leh (also known as Maya Bay) and it really is gorgeous, or would be if you could see the water through all of the boats parked at the sand and sitting out in the little bay dropping snorkelers off. After having some time to wander the island a little bit, we joined the rest of the snorkelers in the small bay where we were happy to be surrounded by large schools of fish looking to gobble up the breadcrumbs thrown in the water. We were happy as could be but did hear one prissy girl on the tour suck water up her nose and then scream that she thought snorkels were there to prevent that. Poor little thing, life in paradise is so difficult. The tour continued around Phi Phi Leh to check out some of the other coves also full of speedboats.




After another short swim including some time to make sure we had the chance to inhale as many boat fumes as we wanted, we headed to Monkey Beach, which funnily enough is home to a large family of monkeys. So we landed along with several hundred of our closest friends and did our part to help terrorize the local wildlife. Many of the monkeys were content to hang out near the small wooded area while others enjoyed the opportunity to grab pineapple and banana treats from the tourists and then attack them when said tourists were stupid enough to try to pet them. There’s nothing like watching a monkey leap at some idiot’s face to make your day feel worthwhile! Three from our own boat were attacked. One even sustained an injury apparently worth seeking hospital attention though Laura and I had to squint and use our imaginations to see the slightly pinkish mark the girl was terrified would cause her to lose her leg (same girl with the "malfunctioning" snorkel problem, are you surprised?). She didn't think it was funny when I said, "Bye, hope your leg doesn't fall off," as I was getting out of the boat.



Finally, after all of that excitement, we had the chance to jump back into the water off of Long Beach on Phi Phi Don and take a look at the beautiful coral formations and swarms of fish. It was spectacular enough for us to make our own trip back at a later time, but apparently our first visit held ideal conditions as the second trip wasn’t nearly as spectacular.

But yeah, other than that, our days were filled with much lounging, swimming, and reading. There was even some drinking though when we first arrived at our hotel on Railay Beach, Laura was horrified to learn that they didn’t serve anything with alcohol. If you had seen her face you would have thought they had told her every drink they did have was made special with water from the poonal. Thankfully, we were able to find other places that served alcohol, though we were forced to walk at least 100 feet to find them.



Seeing that we're now heading out of Southeast Asia tonight, we figured we'd both give our last impressions after six very fast weeks. Me first since I'm already typing.

Chaos Rules

If there’s one thing about Southeast Asia that I understand, it’s that I don’t really understand it. I’ve been raised in a very ordered society with pretty clear rules and regulation and been raised by two people with very organized minds (stop arguing you two). Contrary to popular belief, my mind could probably be seen about as organized as the grid you see in Los Angeles when landing at LAX at night. I only think of this since we landed back in Bangkok last night and I was able to see the city that the titan of Thailand must have either barfed out or stepped on because my ordered mind screamed in delighted revulsion (yes, I see the problem with that, I never claimed complete sanity) at what I saw. I’m not sure there were any right angles (order loves right angles) and most streets had at least one jog in it assumedly to confound any intruders bent on infiltrating or escaping its tangled web.

And that’s just the thing about Southeast Asia. It’s freaky chaotic from the vantage point of someone like myself used to things like stop signs, street signs, set prices, correct sides of the road to drive on (and I’m not talking left vs. right, I’m talking about being on the side of the road that you are respectively supposed to be on), sidewalks used for walking, shower stalls, tour guides that give information, and timetables. But somehow everyone that lives in these countries functions and understands the “rules” even if they aren’t written down anywhere. I’m not claiming to understand it in the slightest and have come to accept that it would take nothing but total immersion to get comfortable with it. I suppose the absence of rules is a rule unto itself. I don’t think I’ll be joining the ranks of the ex-pats living in each of the places we landed.

Despite my confusion, this was still one hell of a trip to a lot of amazingly different countries where the people live by their own rules (as they should). Aside from the scammers, nearly everyone we met was kind and respectful and, in some cases, startlingly happy considering their circumstances. The six weeks here certainly helped lend a lot of perspective to my own daily life, a feeling that I’m sure will only be compounded in the next few weeks.

But enough of that. Laura, make them laugh please.

SE Asia by the Numbers

Well Dan put it to me to do my own SE Asia wrap up, and since numbers are sometimes more powerful than words, I will let the numbers do the talking.

0 = # of thefts (yay us!, and also the number of McDonald’s we saw in Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia…pretty great)

1 = # of poonals we strolled along (also the number of us that are leaving SE Asia with a tan, the number of times we got on a Japanese tourist boat instead of the ferry we were supposed to be taking, and the number of times Dan fell into a river)

2 = # of injured fingers (fresh new razor accident for Dan last night!)

3 = # of hours it took to get to downtown Bangkok from the airport on a public bus

4 = # of countries visited

5 = # of meals eaten with meats of questionable origin

6 = # of weeks in SE Asia

9 = # of flights taken (NOT counting our international flights in and out of Bangkok!)

10 = # of mosquito bites received by Dan (at the MOST!)

15 = # of hotels/guesthouses stayed in

21 = # of books read by Laura and Dan during the six weeks in SE Asia (includes the same book twice if read by both)

30 = # of times Dan forgot to zip up his pants after using the bathroom

35 = # of times Laura made herself bleed from scratching mosquito bites

42 = # of days we were drenched in sweat

50 = # of times we almost died crossing the street in Vietnam

100 = # of times we nodded yes to questions that we didn’t really understand

500 = # of 7-11s we’ve seen (and bought Pringles from)

1,000 = # of times we’ve said “No, thank you” to taxi drivers, tuk tuk drivers, suit makers, masseurs, long tail boat drivers and hill tribe women

1,001 = # of mosquito bites received by Laura (at the very LEAST!)

Immeasurable = # of memories we are taking home with us (Aawwwwwww! How sweet!)

So tonight we're off to Dubai where we'll spend about 6 days before heading on to South Africa to gear up and then begin our five week safari/trekking thingy. We'll try to get another short blog up before it starts as we have no idea as to our Internet access during that time.

Much love to all,
Dan & Laura