Farewell Vietnam, Hello Cambodia

Escape from 'Nam

We’ve decided on a collaborative effort for this blog entry – Laura (that’s me) is covering Vietnam and Dan (that’s him) is covering Cambodia. I have to warn you in advance, this is going to be another long entry, so grab your cup of coffee and settle in – we’ll try our best to keep it entertaining. We’re in Siem Reap at the moment and have spent a few wonderful days exploring the temples of Angkor (more to come on that courtesy of Dan later in the blog), and tomorrow morning we fly to Phuket to begin 11 glorious nights of beach bumming in Southern Thailand. As always, make sure to check out our full compliment of pictures at Flickr!

You will surely scoff at us and we know we deserve it, but we need a little vacation from our vacation. Somewhere around our eighth week of consecutive travel we found ourselves a bit crankier (than usual!) and the little things started to affect us more. For example, Dan found himself more frustrated than usual that I scratch my mosquito bites to a bloody pulp and then tell him that mine really do itch more than his do and he can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be me, and I found myself more frustrated than usual that Dan was born without the memory chip that allows men to remember to zip up their pants after they use the bathroom. We think we’re a bit worn out and a little homesick and it definitely comes out in strange ways. So the beach is just what we need to get that spring back into our step. After all, Dan hasn’t gotten a third-degree sunburn for at least six weeks now so we figure it is about time to get working on that melanoma. Speaking of Dan’s injuries, his finger seems to be healing slowly and the toothbrush splint is still in place. It has severely limited our ability to high five, and those of you who know us well can appreciate that this has a negative impact on our ability to really bond.

Last time we wrote we were back in Nam. We spent three nights in a lovely UNESCO World Heritage town named Hoi An, and then two nights in Saigon before flying to Siem Reap in Cambodia. Hoi An was where the eight-week slump really set in, and it was a good place for it because it’s just a nice place to chill out and enjoy life. Hoi An is about a half hour by car outside of Da Nang, which is Vietnam’s fourth largest city. Da Nang is of course most famous for China Beach, where many of our nation’s soldiers took their much needed R&R during the war. Hoi An is also known as the city of tailors (over 200 of them in total!) and many travelers go there just to have inexpensive custom clothes made. We did have a lovely suit made for Dan which is a relief for me - now we don’t have to show up to weddings and other formal events with him in his “dress cargos.”



I really fell in love with the local cuisine of Hoi An, particularly a specialty called Cau Lau which is made with a noodle unique to the city, mixed with pieces of pork, lettuce, herbs and these crunchy crouton-like things. It really doesn’t sound that appetizing on paper but it is delicious and I had to have it for almost every meal. Another highlight of our time in Hoi An was a full moon festival where locals send hundreds of paper lanterns with a single lit candle in each down the river, and there was much singing, dancing and merriment.

Hoi An during the full moon festival - those lights are candle lanterns floating down the river.

Other than ambling about the lovely historic streets, taking boat trips on the river, napping, and reading a lot, we also managed to take a trip out to My Son to see the Cham ruins. Brace yourself now – we actually signed up for a sunrise trip in order to beat the crowds and the heat, and we thought it would be lovely to see the sun come up over the ruins. Well, it turned out that “sunrise tour” merely implied that the sun would in fact come up while we waited and hour and a half from being picked so that we could haphazardly pick up other passengers who were also told to be ready at 5am and progressively looked like they were going to kick the living (expletive removed) out of the punky little kid who kept saying, “It’s okay we go now.” The mob was pretty much ready to riot when we finally arrived at the ruins at 7am in full sun and it turned out that the entrance fee to the ruins wasn’t actually included in the price of the tour, something we are finding to be very common but not ever explicitly stated in SE Asia. Once everyone found their humor in the whole situation the visit to the ruins themselves was very nice. The Cham people came over from Java and built gorgeous red brick Hindu temples, and later on in their history, Buddhist temples. Many of the temples were destroyed by bombing in the Vietnam War, and it was sobering to walk by huge bomb craters just meters from the ruins that did survive.



We flew from Da Nang to Ho Chi Minh City, more commonly referred to as Saigon by the locals. When we asked which name was more appropriate to use, they said it didn’t really matter, but that Ho Chi Minh City is four words and Saigon is one word, so which one would you want to use all of the time? Good point, Saigon it is. Saigon is an enormous, pulsing and relatively modern city. There are even more motorbikes here than in Hanoi, though the locals seem to have worked out a system that involves about half the amount of honking. Crossing the street is still treacherous, though. We didn’t find it to be very charming there, and in truth we didn’t really feel like there was that much to do. Maybe that was just the eight-week burn-out talking. We did go to the War Memorial Museum, which was again sobering, and mildy frustrating because it focuses only on the atrocities of the Americans and French and not at all of the atrocities that were also committed by the Viet Cong (quite similar to the A-Bomb museums in Hiroshima and Nagasaki). It’s such an important part of our history, though, and we are glad that we were able to go and see the museum, as hard as it was to face some of the images there.

We did have a good laugh when we were walking through a park and saw a sign saying, “Not be drunk, play gamble, participate in fortune-telling and other evils in the park. Not allowed to hunt and catch fishes, bath, tease animals as well as bring pet dogs into the park. Keep public security.” It just seemed like such a perfect, all encompassing statement. The US should really beef up their public signs.

On our final day in Vietnam we decided to go to the Mekong Delta, about two hours from Saigon, and arranged for a private guide and driver because we had to be back to the airport by 4pm. Leaving the hotel in the morning was another bizarre experience; the cleaning lady came in and started cleaning the room before we had actually left. It’s not like we were checking out late, it was 7am! But she was shuffling things around and throwing things away (Dan had to rescue his book from the trash can) and we were completely flustered. We had also just gotten our laundry back twenty minutes before we were supposed to be picked up, and it was totally damp, mostly dirty and we were missing a pair of underwear each. When you are traveling for five months and only had seven pairs of undies to begin with, this is tantamount to a complete disaster. Alas, we left our prized quick-drying underwear behind and bid farewell to Saigon. The delta made for a fun day of boating through canals, talking to local people and sampling local fruits, candies and foods. Dan even held a boa constrictor, see below! Our guide also informed us that “if it moves, we eat it,” and we were rather horrified to learn that he had once eaten his neighbor’s pet dog because it had to poor sense to come over to visit. We know they eat dog, cat, rat, bat, you name it in Vietnam, but we’re still not sure if he was messing with us about the pet dog story. It didn’t really seem like it. Either way, the wildlife in the area is very scarce because of the Mekong diet.




Okay folks, thanks for reading, I’m handing it over to Dan.

Angkor What?

Seeing that we were already pretty ready to move on from Vietnam, our arrival in Cambodia was a very happy one. It may be a little silly, but just stepping off the plane and walking into their airport was a bit of a treat. One thing I’ve been wondering at during our travels in SE Asia is the lack of an Asian architectural aesthetic for anything but the temples. Most of the buildings look like they could be anywhere in the Western world. But Siem Reap’s airport had a distinctly Asian flair to the roof and structure that was a delight. I’d include a picture, but we weren’t smart enough to take one.

We also found out rather quickly that the US Dollar is the unofficial currency here in Cambodia. All of the ATMs distribute USD instead of the Riel. The only time you’ll actually see Riel used is as change since they don’t have US coins. So if something is a dollar and a half and you plop down a fiver, you’ll get back three Dollars and 2000 Riel. Neither of us is knowledgeable enough about it to know, but we’re pretty uncertain whether the US is OK with that or not. Doesn’t matter to us much since the ATMs only tag on a $2 charge per transaction to get cash just like they do at home.

What’s most immediately curious about Cambodia – Siem Reap in particular – is how everyone here, despite the horrors in their past, is perfectly friendly, honest as far as we can tell (no one has tried to scam us yet that we know of), and seem to have a pretty good outlook on the future of their country. Many of the businesses in the city are very well run establishments that have a pretty terrific grasp on what makes tourists happy; something that the rest of SE Asia is still working out. Perhaps it’s the fact that this country was in ruins and has had to rebuild itself with the help of friendly countries around the world and therefore had plenty of time to build up with plenty of helpful advice whereas the other countries in the area were more set in their ways?

One of the wildest things about the city here is the number of monstrous hotels popping up, which may provide a false sense of riches. Yes, there are a lot of tourists here, but we haven’t seen nearly enough to fill up thousands of rooms spread around the area. It may not be high season, but it’s not slow season either. There were plenty of dark windows in each of the hotels along the route to the airport when we arrived and we’ve easily seen more than a dozen hotel currently being built during our Tuk Tuk rides to and from Angkor. Judging by our search for a hotel, none of them are willing to drop prices either. Most were over 150 per night with several much more than that. Meanwhile, we’re staying in a very nice guesthouse for 25 a night. I’m not sure how many normal travelers are going to be willing to pony up the big cash for those rooms with these nice cheap places around considering SE Asia is supposed to be one of the cheapest places to travel.

BUT, Siem Reap does have something that the other parts of SE Asia don’t that may actually allow them to get away with it: Angkor. The Angkor area (Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom, Ta Prohm, Preah Khan and the rest of the temples and cities) is magnificent. Our visits to these ancient Khmer ruins will undoubtedly sit as one of the most memorable highlights on our entire trip. The Khmer style of architecture is singular in the world and doesn’t really seem to have been copied anywhere curiously enough (Laura wondered why Vegas hadn’t capitalized on the interest in this place).

What’s so spectacular about the area is just the size of it. The city of Siem Reap could nearly fit inside the moat island of Angkor Wat and could easily fit inside the moat area of Angkor Thom. It’s enough that you just don’t want to do everything in one day and may not want to do everything ever because there’s too much. We decided to split our visit into two days, which turned out to be perfect for us, both days hiring a Tuk Tuk and driver (the same who came to the airport to get us holding a sign saying "Abans") to scoot us around.

Bayon temple at Angkor Thom

Our first day was spent in Angkor Thom and Angkor Wat. We wanted to rest up to enjoy everything so we slept in (which turned out to be good since our air conditioner decided to start screaming at us in the middle of the night so that we had to turn it off and I had to wander downstairs to look for a fan) and paid the price in sweat. Arriving around 2pm was great to miss the crowds, but you could have followed our path by the puddles of sweat left behind us like soggy breadcrumbs at the places we stopped to admire the Khmer’s skills. Every Western tourist you see around here looks like they’ve been running through sprinklers and I’m not sure it’s even that hot. It’s certainly not the hottest season yet. Thankfully there’re plenty of Cambodian entrepreneurs set up selling cold drinks outside of each of the major sites at Angkor. With the nice drink sellers came the pushy sales for postcards and trinket as well, almost all children. These kids actually managed to pass up the Sapa women in their sheer “in your face” attitude by often actually shoving their wares in your face until they smacked up against the invisible barrier they weren’t allowed to pass still shouting that they would sell 5 flutes for 2 dollars instead of 4.

Thankfully we were too enthralled by our first stop at Bayon to care much about the heat or the souvenir bludgeoning. This temple sits at the center of Angkor Thom and each of the towers is covered in faces and carvings. It’s probably my favorite of all of the stops in Angkor, especially since they haven’t forbidden tourists to climb in and check everything out. They have a few guards stationed to make sure everyone behaves themselves and doesn’t climb where there not supposed to, but it’s really something else to be in the middle of something so very alien. Immensely cool stuff.

Bayon temple up close, Ankor Thom

The rest of Angkor Thom was pretty cool as well, but honestly, it was hard to compare to Bayon. There’s definitely an order you should visit these temples to pique your interest because both Laura and myself were still talking about Bayon even while walking through the ancient grounds of the mighty Angkor Wat, which is obviously a very impressive structure that has withstood a lot of time, looting, and vandalism. It’s pretty wild to step back in time like that and imagine the tourists replaced by people going about their business, worshipping, and living. Of course, it’s hard to imagine what the structure looked like originally with all of its extremely ornate carvings and detailed structure. It isn’t hard to imagine that it took the Khmer people 36 years to build.

Angkor Wat

Our second day we dragged ourselves out of bed to leave at 7am with our Tuk Tuk driver and went to visit Ta Prohm first. Many of you will have seen this place even if you didn’t realize it. It’s been in more than one movie, though the biggest of them was likely the first Tomb Raider movie. It’s a structure overgrown by jungle and covered in years of neglect. It’s a magical place to visit. I can only imagine what it must have been like before restoration work was started, stones were cleaned, and sections rebuilt. There are plenty of places you can’t go here, but there’s enough to get one of the most dreamlike pictures of a jungle temple that you could imagine.

Ta Prohm

The last big ruin we visited (we hit up several smaller ones in various stages of reconstruction) was Preah Khan, which was spread wide with many pathways going here and there. It wasn’t as ornate as some of the other structures we visited, but it was still a great way to end our visit to Angkor (though again, ending up at Ta Prohm might have been a better idea) and had a spectacular tree growing over one of the walls at the other side where we and several other groups took turns taking pictures for each other.

Dan and Laura at Preah Khan

Today has been spent wishing Laura’s Dad a happy B-day (HAPPY BIRFDAY DAYWID!!), sitting in a restaurant with couches called the Blue Pumpkin (which as far as we can tell has no connection to the color blue or pumpkins), farting around town, and ending up in the Internet Café to write the blog.

We’ll be heading out of Cambodia tomorrow and back into Thailand. We’ll be flying into Phuket where we’ll spend a couple of days before heading out on a three day excursion to camp on an island and snorkel in some of the more remote reefs. After that, we’re not sure what we’re doing except that we know it will likely involve some sort of beach resort and colorful fruity cocktails that taste of victory.

Finally, you can find an update about Beard immediately below and an uh... appendix entry below this one.

Love to all,

Laura & Dan

Beard (March 5, 2008 - March 28, 2008)

Unfortunately, though short of the time originally promised for Beard’s life, the mangy mongrel had to be put down. After nearly four weeks of hoping Beard would grow up and do something useful with his life,we’ve given up hope of ever expecting anything but mediocrity.

Beard was a malformed beast. He was born fuller on the right side of the face than the left and missing circular patches under the chin and left jaw. After further maturity, it was also clear that the left side of beard was also strikingly more red (just like dear old dad) than the right.



The depressing countenance, and thinly veiled insults were too much to Beard to bear as he rebelled with tireless scratchiness. I would say Beard will be missed, but he was way too dirty a cur to healthily lie about. May his ugly semi-hairy self rest in pieces…

R.I.P. Beard

Apoocalypse Now

Those who have never read “Everybody Poops”, stubbornly deny the existence of their bowels, or are merely embarrassed by the noises smells, and excretions their bodies make may want to consider skipping this jolly little post and perhaps avoid Southeast Asia altogether. My purpose here is simply to quickly remark on the preponderance, absence, and many faces of poo. At least one of you out there with the initials JC (there are a few of you) will undoubtedly be thrilled by this poopy little section of the blog while others will run and hide in embarrassment, but this region of the world has a way of making one acutely aware of your digestive system and its many moods. Without too many personal grisly details (Laura pleaded with me not to go too far as some of you who know me well would probably also be frightened of), we’ve composed a list of words, some of which you’ve probably heard and some of which you might not. There is probably a list like this somewhere on the Intarwebs, but this (sadly) is our own list. Feel free to write in with new suggestions. We welcome a good laugh at the expense of our pitiful poopers.

The Many Faces of Poo

Apoorition – A shocking and sometimes very relieving release of gas with no substance or movement.

Pooltergeist – You swear you pooed but there’s no evidence to be found in the bowl.

Pooplexed (Thank you Papa Carr) -- The lingering confusion resulting from the onset of a Pooltergeist.

Pooget – Tiny, useless, frustratingly insignificant lump of poo. Usual travels alone but sometimes in small groups.

(NEW!) Poogar (Thank you James) -- A particularly malodorous effort.

Poonana – Nearly perfect excretion. Long and majestically bowel clearing with a slight curve sometimes helping it bend into the exit tube so as to be unsure of the actual size.

Poosage – Much like a poonana except often thicker and harder and with no curve.

Poocumber -- Much like a poonana, but with a harder skin and covered in speedbumps.

(NEW!) Poocupine -- An unfortunate event that sents a poo bursting with sharp points that can cause serious discomfort.

(NEW!) Poomerang (Thank you James) -- The frustratingly annoying poo that comes half way out only to stop and fly right back into your lower intestine.

(NEW!) Peek-a-Poo -- A smaller version of the poomerang that eventually emerges as an especially disappointing pooget.

(NEW!) Pootella (Thank you Jacko) -- The viscous nightmarish substance that squeezes out like toothpaste from a tube and could be spread on toast, should one wish to never talk to anyone ever again.

Rocket Poopelled Grenade (RPG) – A grenade shaped piece of poo that is forced out at the speed of sound, rattling windows and creating a mighty *bloop* sound in the toilet causing your bum to be showered by water shrapnel.

Poont (Thank you Beth) -- The serendipitous event of kicking poo mid-air as it drops from your 18 month olds' behind and then (not a requirement) hearing it splat into the wall at high velocity and slide down.

Pootroglyph -- Ancient brown pictures and symbols left on the bottom of a toilet uncovered by unwitting future bathroom adventurers.

Poonal (only added because we can't get the stench out of our minds) -- The river of excremental water found along the shotcut to Kata beach around Club Med on Phuket.

Apoohensive (Thank you Mike) -- The feeling you get when you suddenly have to poo in the middle of an activity or especially a party at someone else's house.

Poonic (Thank you Papa Adams) -- The stage following apoohension usually signified by the onset of a burning lower intestine.

Apoology (Thank you Mike) -- What you issue to the unfortunate person who enters the bathroom immediately after you left it in a condition that badly violates the Clean Air Act. Usually uttered shallowly after the apoohension and then poonic you were feeling earlier runs its course.

(NEW!) Poopourri (Thank you Jacko) -- The distinct smell created through the mixture of gas and air freshener.

Assplosion – Most often seem accompanying a poocano but can be solitary with plenty of bowllateral damage.

Poocano – An assplosion of more solid chunks followed by one or more rushes of hot and spicy liquid magma.

Poonami – A torrent of water deadly to all in its unforgiving path.

Pooreka! – The sudden and wonderful release of several pounds after several days of no movement.

Sign of the Apoocalypse – The sudden and horrific release of several pounds after several days of no movement.

The Apoocalypse – The continued occurance of assplosions, poocanos, and poonamis signaling that the end times are upon you.

Apoothecary (Thank you Mama Adams) -- The place where you buy products like imodium, milk of magnesia, Pepto-Bismol, etc. to reduce the onslaught of the Apoocalypse.

The Perfect Poo – Often discussed in revered whispers by poo experts, the Perfect Poo is massive, bowel clearing and shaped like either a pooonana or poosage. The defining aspect is the need for only one square of toilet paper hence the oft used term “The One Wiper”.

Look Both Ways, Scream and Cross the Street

Hi everyone, Laura here. Dan's right hand ring finder may or may not be broken after a tragic finger-slamming-into-rock-incident while trekking in Sapa, so I'm taking over on blog writing for the time being. Don't worry about him, we've taken care not to seek medical advice for fear of amputation and have fashioned an impressive splint made out of a toothbrush and tape that seems to be doing the trick. That finger was already crooked from a previous injury so it's a little hard to tell if it's broken or not. It certainly looks jacked up. If you are one of our doctor friends you might be receiving a photo with a "Hey does this look broken" subject line soon. Lucky you!

In other news, we arrived in Hanoi last Wednesday and have spent the last week exploring three different areas of Northern Vietnam: Hanoi, Sapa and Halong Bay. The first thing about Hanoi that a tourist will notice, and possibly the thing that leaves the most lasting impression, is the honking. Honking seems to be an art form here - truly its own language with subtleties and innuendo, unlike in the US where my general feeling is that a honk means "get the bleep out of my way you bleeping moron" on every occasion. There are many different types of horns here - some of them play little songs, others start loud and then fade out with a little "nah nah nah nah nah" pattern, and others just sound like they are from a Schwinn bike with pretty pink streamers coming off the handle bars (man I loved that bike). But the honking is a symphony with no intermission, even in the wee hours of the morning. It seems to me that most honks here mean "hey buddy I'm over here and am coming through this intersection whether you stop moving or not." There are so many motorcycles and mopeds here it is quite a sight to behold. It also means that crossing the street is, and I'm not kidding, a life or death experience every time. I'm so stressed out from crossing the street I think I need a Valium. Only really major intersections have pedestrian crossing lights, and even then the little green man who flashes that its okay to cross seems to be playing some sick kind of joke on tourists. We are getting better at crossing now - you really just have to inch out into the oncoming traffic and pretend you are the frog in Frogger, keep your eyes on the prize and have a little faith that people are going to drive around you. I think I like our way a little better at home.



We stayed in the Old Quarter of Hanoi and its a fun place to walk around when you aren't fearing for your life while crossing the street. Sidewalks have three purposes, and none of those purposes involve a safe passage for pedestrians. Sidewalks are either jam packed with parked motor bikes, or become a part of a shop that spills out to the curb or transform into a curbside restaurant with the tiniest little stools you ever will see. Tiny stools rule this land. We walked for several hours on the first day and Dan seemed rather pensive and thoughtful, and then finally spoke in practically a whisper, "Whoever makes these little chairs must be so rich." Spaz.

Hanoi is also the only place I've ever visited where you can be simultaneously woken up in the morning by blaring horns AND roosters. Where do the roosters actually live? That question might always haunt me. I just don't know where the roosters live.

Anyway, a lot of our time in Hanoi was actually taken up with making travel arrangements and running some long overdue errands, including a trip to the post office which was like an anthropological study. Somehow the whole operation functions without organized lines and no one really seems to get to pissed off about not knowing how or when you'll make enough eye contact to get a worker to help you (it's sort of like trying to get a bartender's attention in a very crowded bar only here it won't help you if you have huge boobs.) It took three government forms to mail one package, and you can't seal a package until they've inspected all of its contents. People, the USPS is something to celebrate, not to curse. We have it pretty good in the States.





We did walk around a nice lake with a very neat-o embalmed turtle which resides in a temple on an island in the middle of the lake. Some people think these turtles, who have heads that almost look like seals, are extinct but we met an Aussie couple who were lucky enough to SEE one pop its head out of the moss that morning. We were molto jealous. We also caught a Water Puppet performance (after much confusion at the ticket counter...they were "sold out" until the girl in line ahead of us actually pointed to the unsold tickets on the theater map in front of the ticket seller...oh, you means these tickets??) which was very fun. These puppets appear to have smoked the whacky tabaccy and gyrate all throughout their watery stage, of course with the help of their puppeteer friends who have to stand in waist deep water for five performances a day! It really is a special art form and you must check it out if you ever make it to Vietnam.



From Hanoi we took an overnight train to Lau Cai, which is only three kilometers from the Chinese border (Yunnan province, it was so hard to be that close and not get to visit Kunming, Dali, Lijiang, etc.!) We can safely say that we no longer fit into the "backpacker" category because we bought four tickets on the sleeper car in order to have some privacy and not have our faces pressed up against some stranger's smelly sock for eight hours straight. This move would disgrace us if we were to sink as low as to return to the hostel world. Which we won't. The Hanoi train station was a crazy crazy crazy place and I really don't think we would have ever found our train compartment if a stranger looking for a tip hadn't helped us. Of course the lock on the cabin door was broken so Dan got all McGuyver on me and jerry rigged a lock out of his cargo belt and the foot hold of the upper bunk. Very impressive and we walked away unrobbed (yay for us, we are making progress)!

Lau Cai is the closest train station to Sapa, which was our home for the next three nights. Sapa is a very lovely French hill station town and is mostly visited by tourists looking to trek through the mind blowingly lovely landscape and visit one or all of the six ethnic minority groups living in the surrounding villages. Sapa is very often encased in thick, mysterious mist which is how it was for the first entire day and night of our visit. See the before and after photos below.



We honestly thought the whole town was just one street but then discovered a huge area that we just couldn't see through the mist! Sapa is just a chill kind of place to hang out, but the highlight for us was our two day trek and an overnight stay in a village. We had a wonderful 23-year old guide named Lan, and it was so nice to have the trek be just the three of us rather than with a big group (like it was for us in Chiang Mai). The largest minority group in the local villages are the Black Hmong people, who get their name from the black clothing they wear. The clothes are embroidered with bright colors and intricate patterns and the villagers come to Sapa every day to sell their handicrafts, mostly hand embroidered bags and blankets, to the tourists. This became the most difficult part of the visit over the days.

Black Hmong women follow tourists out on a trek trying to make a sale.

The Black Hmong women are the most aggressive salespeople you will ever meet (they make the carpet dudes in Turkey look like little kittens). They surround tourists in large groups and poke and prod and stare and don't take no for an answer. They also speak pretty great English because of all the interaction, but they really only know one conversation and it goes like this:

Where you from?
What your name? (Note: If you have engaged to this point you might as well kiss your money goodbye)
Hold old are you? (To which the reply is always "Oh, very young!" - this worked on me until I realized the woman asking me was 20 years old and had three children...methinks I am not so young in their eyes)
How many brothers and sisters you have?
Older or younger?
You buy from me? (Which is really more of a statement that a question.)

By the end of the visit I felt like I was being hit on by a guy with Alzheimer's. There is only so many times you can have the same conversation before asking for a restraining order. The women will even stand outside the window where you are eating lunch and stare at you until you come out of the restaurant at which time the pick up lines begin. When we left on our trek two very sweet girls named Ma and La followed us for over two miles before I put them (or me) out of misery and bought a couple of trinkets so they could make the haul back up to Sapa to start the process all over again.



The trek itself was gorgeous and not too strenuous, ideal for lazy folks like us. We stopped around 3pm at our village and the noodled about the countryside until Dan decided it was as good a time as any to (maybe) break his finger. So mostly we just sat around and drank tea after that.




I was quite dubious of the authenticity of our homestay at first glance - after all, they had a Western toilet (outside the house) and a sign on the front door saying they have WiFi. I was expecting a hole in the ground so these were interesting developments. But when the sun went down and the the tourists went back to Sapa, this really was a family home, absolutely bustling from several generations living under one roof - from the toothlessly young to the toothlessly old. We felt so very lucky to be there. The "kitchen" if you could call it that is a low and narrow fire pit with a grate that can support two pans or pots at one time. The firewood is mostly bamboo, and it is quite a clever system they use. They simply push the bamboo sticks slowly into the fire as they burn down, which keeps a very hot flame but the fire is very low to the ground. We sat on the tiny little stools that Dan had so thoughtfully contemplated in Hanoi and watched Lan and the host cook us a six or seven course meal. It was amazing the way they can cook, deep fry even, over a wood burning fire. I was mesmerized, especially when they lit all of the contents of the wok on fire to flash fry our beef. This is really not for beginner cooks, see below.



We shared our dinner with the host, who has nine grown children and seems to be the godfather type figure of the village, and he shared his home made rice wine with us. Lan translated the phrase, "If you don't get drunk, don't come back," and we knew this was our kind of village. So the dinner was full of toasts and handshakes and I loved every minute of it, except for when we had eaten past our capacity and Lan just kept semi-shouting "Eat More Now." After dinner went to the neighbor's house (our host's daughter) and drank more tea and rice wine. At this point Lan seemed a little slurry, but Dan and I really felt fine (probably because we ate enough for the whole village). But Lan kept telling us that it was his duty to protect us and that he was very scared we would soon be drunk because rice wine is stronger than vodka or tequilla. Let me tell you, if that were true we would have been in similar shape to the 2003 IGN Christmas party (seriously bad news). But we were fine and ended up sneaking shots with our hostess when Lan left the room, and then she would high five us after. I think that may be one of my most favorite memories of the trip so far. We slept on a low futon upstairs and listened to the sounds of the house waking up the next morning.



After another day or so in Sapa and more lovely walks and hikes, we took the train back to Hanoi and arrived at 4:30am. That blew. We had no where to go because we were meeting our ride to Halong Bay at 8am. The streets were creepy and dark, though we did get to see a moped carrying multiple pig carcasses, followed by a cyclo carrying the largest pig carcass I have ever seen. Not covered up or wrapped or anything, just hanging out there in the cyclo for all the world to admire. I think I would get up that early again just to watch the surreal dead pig parade. We decided to come back to the hotel we had stayed at before, thinking it would be open. It was not, and we were happily sitting on the doorstep reading our books when an old lady from across the street came over and starting banging on the door of the hotel, thinking she was doing us a favor. We were so embarrassed when a guy in his boxer shorts came to the door and confusedly let us in and kept saying, "You have booking?" to which we could only mutter, "Uh, no, we didn't know where else to go." It was all just sad and pathetic. It turns out that the guys that run the hotel sleep on a futon in the lobby, so we ended up crammed in the lobby with their three motorbikes, a futon with two sleeping men, and us just sitting in the corner looking at each other and wanting to melt away. They still weren't awake at 6:45am so we just slipped out, waking them up AGAIN, and grabbed a taxi to the Hilton where we should have just gone to begin with but our brains weren't working at 4:30am. We felt like such jerks. Finally it was 8am and we were on a bus to Halong Bay!



Halong Bay was our big splurge for SE Asia. We took a one night cruise on a pretty high end ship which we hooked up through an operator that I used to work with while I was at HCP, so we got a pretty good deal on it. The ship was called Bhaya and is a pretty new boat but architecturally similar to the traditional junks. The ship was gorgeous and we felt very pampered for about 24 hours. Halong Bay is stunning, even in the drizzly weather that we encountered. I can only imagine its beauty in full sunshine. We sailed through countless karst islands, and took the ship tender to explore caves and floating fishing villages. In our spare time we sat on the top deck and drank beers and watched the islands pass by. It was heavenly, and much too short. The highlight for me was a visit to Sung Sot Cave, also known as the Cave of Surprise. There are three chambers, getting progressively bigger and the final cave is truly huge. I was blown away by the rock formations and they had everything lit very nicely with colored lights which added to the atmosphere. Granted I haven't been to Carlsbad Caverns or anything like that, but this was really the most amazing cave I've ever seen. I could have spent hours hanging out in there.



We made it back to Hanoi late on Wednesday afternoon and went sheepishly back at the hotel (hey guys, remember us?), and then woke them up again this morning at 4am because we had a 6am flight to Da Nang. We took a taxi to a wonderful little town called Hoi An, but not before our taxi broke down by the side of the road in the rain. We are too relaxed now that we are out of Honk-oi to really care about stuff like that, feel free to hate us.

We'll be here in Hoi An for three nights and will make a side trip to the ruins at My Son, then will head to Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) for a couple of nights before flying to Siem Reap on May 25th. We have about three weeks left in SE Asia, so we are half way through this segment of the trip...it is really hard to believe how fast the time is going. This weekend will mark our 8th week on the road. Believe it or not we really miss all of you back home and talk about you often, and most of it is even positive!

Love to all,
Laura and Dan

Same Same, But Different

Sa Bay Dee, Soh Bai Dee, Saabai-dii, Sa-Baaj-Di...

Whatever way you spell it, saying it means hello in Laos. Everybody says hello here whatever you're doing and wherever you're going. Whether it's because they're actually being friendly or just trying to get you to buy something, it's another greeting that's become part of our vocabulary (though I think the enthusiastic Bula! of Fiji still takes the cake at this point). We've just arrived today into Hanoi, Vietnam after 5 nights in Luang Prabang, Laos.

Before reaching Laos, we spent about 4 nights in Chiang Mai and liked it much better than stinky Bangkok. There's plenty to do in the area and it's much easier to get around the city as the traffic is lighter. There could be some correlation between Bangkok's 7.5 million people and Chiang Mai's 170 thousand and the traffic difference. Either way, while it was actually pretty easy to walk around the center of Chiang Mai where all of the attractions are we ended up taking tuk tuks everywhere because they were a blast. The fact that Laura got slammed with a nasty cold made it even more inviting to take a ride wherever we went.

View from the backseat of a tuk tuk

Partly because we wanted to check out the town and partly because of the sickness, we took it pretty easy in Chiang Mai and opted to explore the city for a day, take a day trip (instead of a multi-day trek), and take a Thai cooking class.

The day trip was... interesting. The "tours" they offer in SE Asia so far have been more transportation than tour. While this Chiang Mai trip offered some commentary about what we were doing, it wasn't much and any questions from the group were given pretty short answers. The first hill tribe we visited used to make all of their money and trade from opium sales, which has been outlawed in recent years. This, as you might imagine, put a pretty huge dent in their disposable income, so the place was pretty poor. The second tribe we visited had plenty of rice fields in the area and definitely looked healthier and happier. It was a little bit of a tourist trap, but still interesting to see.

The hill tribe 7-11

Our elephant riding experience was more like elephant sitting since we couldn't have gone farther than a kilometer round trip. Our five legged elephant that we named -- after long and hard deliberation -- The Donger was a hungry fellow that worked up quite the appetite during our stroll. Entrepreneurs that they are, the elephant camp set up stations where riders could buy elephant feed (bananas and sugar cane) and give their rides a treat. Anyone that's been to Sea World knows the financial brilliance of having the people visiting pay extra to feed the animals they paid to see in the first place. The problem with that is that the elephants know what's coming and simply stick their trunks backwards to the parasites (that's us) attached to their backs. Even sadder is that when we ran out of tasty treats (which was easy given his appetite and our willingness to throw goodies his way), The Donger just wanted more. The begging elephant then got several stiff whacks on the head by the Mahout's wooden and iron stick. I have no idea if that really hurts such a gigantic animal, but it couldn't have tickled.

Our mighty friend

We finally ended up taking a short ride down some river or another (I don't think we were ever told which one) on bamboo rafts. As we found out on our short ride, it's basically like floating down the Truckee River in intertubes or boats. There were lots of people out having fun, stopping to swim and have lunch, and splashing each other. The rafts are basically just a bunch of bamboo pieces tied together and requires front and back steering. I somehow was chosen to steer the back portion of the raft causing thunder to strike and ominous music to begin playing. Once I got the knack of matching our professional bamboo driver, it wasn't that hard aside from a couple of incredibly sharp turns that sent us careening towards boulders in fast water. Having passed the first with little problem, I suppose it was hubris that lead to my relaxation which in turn led to me trying to push off of the second boulder too high which in turn moved only me and not the boat. Elementary physics applies here. Thankfully, our tour guide recommended that all cameras be left in the tour van or we would have seen another camera scream in pain and sizzle. After trying in vain to right myself using my steering pole, I realized that there was no avoiding the river's chilly embrace. Laura said I went from an "Ah crap..." to an "Oh well..." look on my face before I tumbled in for an unscheduled swim. I'm sure the picture would have been terrific, but no camera, so sad!

The following day, we participated in our cooking class, which lasted from the morning until early afternoon. It began with a trip to the local produce market where one of the teachers explained the various fruits and vegetables to us, showed us the ingredients used to make curry paste, and then let us wander a bit. From there, it was back to the classroom where we each learned to make what amounted to a 6 course meal (plus making different flavors of curry paste). While neither of us is entirely sure how much we'll keep in our brains, we had a lot of fun doing it since we were eating all day and were with some fun people.

Not actually as deadly as feared!

The next day we sold some books (it's been much more difficult finding people to exchange with than we thought) and bought some used ones (The Painted Man, All the Pretty Horses, and the first Harry Potter because I never read it) and then headed to the airport where we got on another little airplane and ended up in Luang Prabang, Laos. [By the way, any book suggestions you guys have would be very welcome. While we both like bookstores generally, we don't really want to spend too much time in them on the trip so knowing what to look for would be great. You can see what we're reading in the list on the right side of the blog.]

LP is a pretty sleepy town, probably largely because of the 11:30pm curfew, but it's also undeniably charming. It's so easy to walk everywhere and explore every nook and cranny of the place, which is a trait not particularly advisable in other locations we've been. The cost to stay here was probably double what we had expected (both in lodging and food, but still cheap overall compared to home), but we can't really blame one of the poorest countries in the world for trying to make some money from a place that's obviously popular. We just hope that they don't overshoot themselves so that no one wants to visit anymore.

Luang Prabang

Most of the guesthouses use the French colonial style structure and have pretty small rooms and quirky bathrooms where the shower is in the same space as the toilet. The room we stayed almost requires you to sit on the toilet to wash. It's strange, but I guess not unusual around the world as Laura informed me.

Even so, our location was terrific and had a bevvy of bars and restaurants in our area. We took the day we arrived and the next day after to let Laura start feeling better and then headed out to Kuang Si waterfall park, which was quite awesome. We just grabbed one of the four wheel tuk tuks in town, driven by an awesome guy named Pet (as far as we could understand) and he drove us the 30km or so out to the park. We got a great view of the countryside and villages along the way.

Villagers at work

Kuang Si ranks as one of our favorite places visited so far for sheer beauty. The greenery was lush and the waterfalls were plentiful and heading all directions from the larger feeder waterfall. After climbing to the top of the park (once again, nearly straight uphill and ridiculous), we wandered back down to take a swim in one of the many pools made at the base of each little waterfall. One of the pools even had a Tarzan swing for park guests to flop into the water. Mr. Underwear, King of the Swing (as Laura named him after watching him in his blue BVD's for a half hour)lead the charge and climbed the tree to hand the rope swing to others waiting to crash land in the freezing pool. He also was by far the most agile and managed to perform some pretty awesome flips and twists. Laura and I, having not had any light with which to put on contacts (there was a city wide brown out to repair some old power lines in the area apparently), were both wearing glasses so we just took turns swimming and watched.

Pretty and Prettier

The following day we spent more time exploring the city including a walk (straight uphill of course) to the hill in the middle of town to get a view and ended up chatting with a young novice monk for a little while before wandering down the other side to see Buddha's footprint. We also took some time to wander around the banks of the Mekong and the Nam Khan (Khaaaaaaaan!) and saw plenty of people playing in the water. Having raised a heavy sweat from strolling around town, we stopped to read and drink a lot of Beerlao.

View of Luang Prabang from the top

Yesterday was spent taking another "tour" which offered no commentary at all, just a slow boat ride up the Mekong to Pak Ou caves, which are a place of worship where many pilgrims go to place smaller Buddha statues in the caves. There are certainly a lot of little statues there. While interesting from a cultural standpoint, it reminded me of walking into some one's house that has collected way too many unicorns figurines, turtle statues, or salt and pepper shakers. With little to no explanation of the caves, it was pretty bizarre. Along the way, we took a stop at Whiskey village, a village aptly named for it's production of Lao Lao Whiskey. As one of the other passengers remarked, it was a bit like a shopping mall with a huge number of tourist textile and little junk things being sold at nearly every house. The difference being that malls have a little variety whereas every house was selling the exact same thing. It'd be a little like walking into a mall that had 50 Gap stores and that's it. The people at the village also seemed pretty angry that we weren't buying anything, which was the first negative vibe we really got in Laos.

Heading up the Mekong

Last night my stomach started cramping something fierce so we took it pretty easy today. Laura's sore throat also made a curtain call to make things great for both of us. It probably wasn't as adventurous a time as some might look for, but we loved Luang Prabang. It's a great little town filled with smiling people (though it apparently has more to do with their style of karmic Buddhism than rampant happiness) despite the country's level of poverty. The town itself seems to be flourishing though the surrounding areas obviously aren't seeing the same kinds of money.

For those wondering about the "same same, but different" thing, we've heard it about a million times in Thailand and Laos. It basically means, "these two things are a lot alike, but not identical". So a driver will tell you that one market is same same as another. Or when Laura and I somehow managed to both wear white t-shirts, brown shorts (skirt for Laura), black shoes, and had our matching luggage our hosts in Chiang Mai offered "same same, but different" with more hilarity than was perhaps necessary. We did look pretty damn stupid.

Finally, while we're on the subject of looking stupid, we've been trying to decide whether to let my "beard" grow out on this trip to see what horrifying shape it might take. You'll notice on the right side of this blog is a poll in orange. Please vote and tell me what I should do. The picture below was taken after about a week of not shaving.

As you can see, I am very manly.

We'll be in Vietnam for the next two weeks. Tomorrow we'll be exploring Hanoi and then taking off to Sapa where we'll trek up to spend a night or two with a hill tribe. That's all for now!

Love to all,
Dan & Laura

7-11 Owns You

Out of all of the things that we expected to see in Asia, I can't say that 7-11 was one of them. Therefore, it stands to reason that we weren't expecting to see 2-3 of them on every block. While I suppose that really only goes for Hong Kong, where as far as we can tell there is one 7-11 for every 5 or 6 people, 7-11 also seems to have achieved a stranglehold on the convenience store market in Thailand as well. We did see a Circle K in Hong Kong, but we figure it's only a matter of time before 7-11 makes sure it slips in the tub or falls down the stairs or has some other "accident".

Before we begin, PROPS to JCarr for making it to the ripe old age of 33 on March 4th. You're an old man, Charlie Brown, and also the best big brother and BIL two folks could have. We'll poor one out and straight into our mouths for you on the big day!

Anyway, as you may or may not be able to tell, we're in Thailand at this point after having traveled through Hong Kong which is a blatant rip off of Chinatown!

...

Horrendous jokes aside, it's a pretty awesome city that we'd love to visit again some time. Sadly, only two full days to explore and get to know the place isn't really enough and we're sure there is probably plenty of good nightlife as well bit we didn't venture out much for a taste of that action.

What we did do (in-between ignoring guys trying to sell us suits and watches) was find out that our asses just don't fit in their public transportation seats on the subway, the bus, and the tram up to Victoria Peak. Everyone has very small bums in Hong Kong apparently. Just look at the tram below! Very skinny!



Actually the public transit system is fast, clean, and got us everywhere we wanted to go. And as I mentioned, the first place we really went was Victoria Peak. This is basically the mountain that overlooks Hong Kong Island and the rest of the city. It's a pretty fantastic view that you can sort of appreciate in the picture below.



Those of you in video games will be happy to know that EA was there to welcome us to Victoria Peak! Thanks guys! That must have cost an arm and a leg. Good thing EA seems to have an ample supply of both appendages.

After heading back down the mountain we went to dim sum because Laura couldn't stop talking about it. We figured if her mouth was actually full of dim sum, she'd have to stop. It was fun, though a little stressful, to have all of the old ladies pressuring us into eating yummy things. I thought we ate too many yummy things and my stomach agreed but Laura called me weak and told me to "sac up and eat." I was shamed. Unfortunately I still couldn't fit any more and was forced to slog through my swamp of shame to the world's longest escalator that finally helped me rise above. I can't remember how long the escalator actually is, but it's pretty damn long. We rode it to the top and walked back down through Soho and saw parts of Hong Kong that we might have missed otherwise.


Exciting escalator madness!

After a quick nap (dim sum is quite tiring) we headed out to the ladies market where all sorts of different crap is up for sale. Some of it decent, some of it is actually crap (figuratively, of course). The real experience was the area around the ladies market. We were there until nearly 10pm on a weekday and the throngs of people never really let up. I'm not sure if there are as many people all together in San Francisco as there were on these few streets. It was actually a bit overwhelming for us first timers, but we explored for a while, got lost, ate some food, and finally found our way back to the subway. I think that it'd probably get to be one of my favorite areas on repeat visits.



The next day was spent first going to Wong Tai Sin temple out in the residential area of the city. It was a beautiful little place full of worshipers doing their thing. We also came across Yurtle as he was trying to get his ragged band of turtles organized. We next headed over to the flower market, which served as proof that the flower industry is ridiculous in the US. We also went to the bird market where a million little birds sang their wistful songs of freedom inside their 6" cube cages. We had more dim sum after wandering those areas for a while and we weren't able to power through more than 6 dishes. Thankfully, Laura couldn't do it either so my shame was more manageable.

That night we watched the funny light show that happens every night across the harbor between Hong Kong and Kowloon sides. The buildings light up in time to music while everyone tries to convince themselves that the show was a little cooler than it actually was. This last night we went out to a more expensive (which is still not expensive) restaurant and had a delicious meal full of delicious flavors. While I was tempted to order the pig intestines in honor of my friend Tom, I couldn't do it. Once again, SHAME.



So yeah, Hong Kong rocked. Then we went to Bangkok, which from my admittedly limited experience, doesn't really rock. Now, I know there are those of you that have loved Bangkok and you're probably wondering what my problem is, but I just can't warm up to it. Maybe it's the having to fend of scammers constantly. Maybe it's the incredibly limited public transit system and horrific traffic. It's just a chore to get out and see stuff. While there are good things there, we were both fine with getting on the plane to Chiang Mai. Those of you that love it will have to help me understand when we get back to the States.

But as I said there are good things. We went to the Grand Palace which was pretty awesome. I'd seen pictures before, but they don't really do it justice. It's obscenely detailed to the point of being baroque. We didn't get to see everything because of an official function going on there, but it was enough to get the point that the Thai have a certain style. The reclining Buddha at a different temple was also pretty sweet - he's freaking gigantic and happily passing into nirvana.



The gigantic Chatuchak weekend market was also pretty fantastically nuts and most likely one of the few markets visible from space. It's a warren of stalls with all sorts of goods and food. If you can stand the crush of people, strange smells, and occasionally suffocating heat, you could easily spend all day exploring. It's definitely a must visit for people actually planning on shopping as there's some decent stuff there for very cheap. We still have 3 1/2 months of traveling to do so real shopping would be complicated. Sadly, that means no gigantic wooden elephant for the living room. If only we had remembered to bring along a camera to document it... whoopsies.

Without a doubt, the highlight of Bangkok for us has been the food. Whether it's from a street vendor (everything gets cooked, we hope), a little mom and pop restaurant, or the classier Sala Rim Nan restaurant (that comes with a traditional dance show), the food has been excellent. I mean, when you can get a tasty cooked banana desert treat from a one armed Bananaman, you're in the right place. (Who else here remembers Bananaman?) We're looking forward to a lot more of that through SE Asia and hope to begin anew with our first trip to Chiang Mai's night market later this evening.

So yeah, I guess that brings things up to date, which means I should stop typing now.

Love to all,

Dan & Laura